It’s hard to bring up during text or to tell you in person so I hope you read this and take it into consideration. I want to say that you deserve better because there was a time that no matter what day, year, season, partner that came my way…. it was always him.
Every movie theater, restaurant and subway station reminded me of him. Even though your life keeps moving forward and you think your doing alright in the back of your mind, you hope somewhere in the future you two will run into each other. That the memories like the endless nights of talking and laughing will continue. You start to wish to go back to a time where everything made sense.
Some nights are so lonely the silence is louder than any song. All the happy go lucky love songs become cliche and the heartbreaking slow songs become your bible verse.
You almost go into insanity obsessively thinking about him. You wonder is he’s happy, if shes good to him and is he’s thinking of you.
How can two people who once thought they would share a whole life together stop talking. You notice that the phone calls, texts and weekend dates are missing in your normal routine. The hours feel longer as there isn’t anyone else at the end of the line to talk to and the mornings are strange without that good morning text.
You say fuck it. Fuck love, fuck life. But you can say that all you want, it doesn’t change the fact that you do love.
and Angie if any of this sounds like you….
then your me.
5 years ago I was there. Sometimes I would cry if a song came on and change it to an even sadder song just to cry some more and then fall asleep. I was so heart broken..and a little dramatic from all the Korean drama’s that I would hold my heart as I cried missing him.
Remember there was a reason you broke up. You may think it wasn’t as important now, but at that time it was big enough for you two to break everything you ever built.
But let me tell you something. It does get better if you want it to. Sometimes we get lost within our partners we live through them. We lose ourselves. I spent every second of my life for the last 4 years with him. I forgot there was an Ashley before him and she was fine without him.
…..and one day when your ready, and you have figured yourself out, because moving on and finding yourself takes some time. Someone will show you love.. without the crying and the heartbreak because the right person wouldn’t stand for you to cry anymore.
So focus on you. It’s OK to cry and miss him. But don’t you miss you? Before him you were strong, independent and happy…. so when your ready, let me know and we will go find that girl again!